To paraphrase an old saying: You can please some of the people some of the time, and please part of the people part of the time, but there is absolutely no way you can ever please all of the people all of the time!
So what’s the alternative? Please no one? Au contrare. That’s placing the wrong accent on the wrong syllable. You need to look at the WHY of people pleasing. We all people please to some degree, but the issue is – what’s your degree?
People pleasing is a way of being, the way of life for some people. Unfortunately they get so into that mindset that nothing, or very little, is based on what they honestly believe. That is tragic. The irony is that people who really want to be pleasing to others typically end up pleasing no one.
The major issue is, trust. If I can’t trust you to be honest with me regarding your thinking, what you believe then how can I trust you with anything? If all you do is placate then I have no way of knowing if you’ll support me when the going gets rough. You might just bolt and take the opposite stand. But when I know from the start what you think then I’m not surprised when you act on your own thinking.
And no, I’m not saying that you should ignore the feelings of someone else. And yes, I know that there are those who surround themselves with only ‘yes’ people. But how can you stand on and believe in your own integrity if you merely agree with whomever you’re with? And… will you remember what you agreed with and with whom?
