Contrary to popular belief, relationships (marriage, friendship, family) is not, and can never be, 50-50. (Besides, what are you going to do with the other 50%?)They really are all or nothing at all (my definition of ‘relationship’). And the other side of the ‘equation’ has to approach the relationship with the same mindset. If there’s no level of mutual commitment then there is only acquaintance-ship.
Perhaps another way of looking at this is: do you count your friends by the number or by your involvement? Example: on Facebook I can have hundreds of ‘friends’ listed but how many of them do I communicate with? The answer to the communication question gives a hint as to the relationship. I’m one of those who have many acquaintances and few friends, but the friends I do have are long standing.
Relationships may not require ‘work’ but they do require time. Do you spend time, whether it be face-to-face or long-distance (phone, email, etc.)? If you don’t then is there really a relationship?
When I was doing seminars, at one point I would have people get out their check register (we use to actually use checks and not Internet banking) and see where they spent their money. Wherever that was – that was their involvement. I had them do the same thing with their calendars – you can say you have a relationship but if no time is spent then it begs the question.
Relationships are never boring – they are in a continual state of discovery about the other person, about yourself. This births trust. Trust never happens immediately, it is forged over time but is the foundation upon which you continue to build.
