“There is no qualitative or quantitative measurement for pain. It is simply there – sharp or dull, shooting or stabbing, bearable or excruciating, local or general. It is unexplained, uninvited, unavoidable.” Sorry, I have no idea who said this but it’s true and is probably one of the best definitions of pain I’ve ever read.
The problem is – how to deal with pain. Two things I do know that I’ve learned from experience – you can’t rush getting out of emotional pain because if you do, it will return and be ten times worse. And, wallowing never helps. But you will wallow some and you need to allow yourself to do this but not stay in it.
I suspect the critical component is that you need to truly understand what happened and why. That’s why if you rush you probably won’t be dealing with those issues. It isn’t so much the ‘who’ that caused the pain (you or someone else) but the ‘why’ – why did you experience pain. Again, a host of reasons for the why. I believe that it’s my desire to not repeat painful situations that is the basis of analyzing. And yet… one can’t protect oneself from the possibility of pain or one never will risk.
Once you have discovered this ‘why’ then you can develop options to reduce the pain/resolve your situation. Without this knowing you really are doomed to repeat it or become so insulated that you live in a kind of numb existence – neither hot or cold. But once you have options, you can mitigate against this in the future. Awareness will be your key option.
Perhaps I haven’t said anything particularly new but sometimes it’s important to state the obvious. I think part of the problem one faces in dealing with pain is to be open. Sometimes it is very difficult to allow yourself to be vulnerable again. Unfortunately, it really is the only way to live, otherwise you are only existing… a terrible place to be.
