For most people, this word conjures up unpleasant thoughts. ‘Submitted’ does not mean dominated. However, I will admit that there are people who will use this word to do precisely that – attempt to dominate another. In my world of definitions though, submitted is more closely defined by ‘accountable’.
We all need to be accountable but we also probably need an outside source. It kind of begs the issue if we use ourselves. However, it is critical to define what this means – for ourself as well as the source. For me, the source’s primary responsibility is to be totally honest, from their perspective. They shouldn’t attempt to dictate – that ventures into dominant territory. The question is do we give them the ‘right’ to provide feedback, at their convenience, whether or not we have asked for it – a carte blanche vs requested basis.
Obviously this means that it is important to set the parameters of accountability so there’s no misunderstanding. Example: if I have asked someone to act as my outside reference, how long will this last? Is it related to everything or only a particular issue? How/when can my source give me the feedback?
Personally I really dislike unsolicited feedback because inevitably it is provided at the worse possible moment. Then again, this may be the precise moment that I should receive it. But since my primary motivation is to ‘true to myself’, to learn from the situation and it’s critical to be able to hear the source’s analysis, I generally request a specific time for the feedback.
If you are the source of another’s accountability and they don’t raise these issues, I would strongly suggest that you do….. Otherwise you could be misunderstood, especially if the other person has a vested interest (which they always do) in the particular area you have been asked to assist in.
The bottom line is how we, who are asking another person to be our source for our accountability, view ‘submitted’. Is it a domination by another: telling us what to do, how to do it, and when? Or is it an accountability issue? Never allow yourself, your personality to be subjugated to another’s philosophy – but do allow yourself to grow through an accountability relationship.
