Defeats and failures are not the same. In the first place I really have never believed in ‘failure’ then again – it could be my definition. Defeats, however, do happen and how we respond to them is critical.
Definition: failure, for me, doesn’t exist because I don’t accept the traditional definition of the word. It is all the attendant negative and debilitating emotions that accompany the word that I find fault with. ‘Failure’, to me, is merely not taking the best approach in a particular situation. Thus failure doesn’t hold me in its grip. I simply reassess and change. Too simplistic? Not realistic? Perhaps.
Defeat: is a loss – one didn’t win. It’s more like a disappointment. And, I suppose, one could argue that my definition of ‘defeat’ is merely a substitution for failure. I disagree. A defeat puts a period at the end of the sentence. You really can’t tweak it. It’s not that a reassessment can’t occur but that’s for the now or future – it doesn’t change the past. And that’s the point.
If/when we allow a defeat to wash over us we can drown in an emotional tidal wave. That’s why how we respond is critical. A defeat should signal a time to move on. We should view it as a particular option that didn’t work and change focus/direction/whatever we need to change. And believe it or not, there are moments when we have to look defeat squarely in the eye and not just let it go but accept that, in this particular issue at this particular time, leave it. Never easy.
