I’ve always believed that the message was the most important of the two: message, messenger. It was critical to state the message clearly, concise and in the ‘voice’ of the sender. The messenger needed to not get in the way of the message.
If I wanted someone to understand what was being said, regardless of whether or not they agreed, it was imperative that I use words that the other person knew and use their definitions. The other person had the prerogative of acceptance or rejection, but it had to be according to their understanding of the message. I still believe the message is the most important element but I’ve come to appreciate just how critical the messenger is.
‘How’ the messenger presents the message is nearly as important as the message itself. The perception of the listener regarding the presentation does impact in their acceptance of the message. Thus, if the goal of the messenger is to present the message so that the listener understands and can come to a reasoned decision – then the messenger must take care in how they present it.
Personally I’m a fifty-cent-word type – not always consciously, but I’ve always loved words so I tend to both speak and hear in that context. As an example: if I hear a message that is condescending I tend to dismiss its value – a… ‘if you don’t value me then I’m not going to value what you said’. And this is true for a whole host of reactions to the ‘how’ of the message. NO ONE hears on only one level.
I remember, as a child, that the lesson that one shouldn’t judge another until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes, has always stayed with me. It also translates into how I’d like to think I perform as a messenger. This approach includes being watchful of ‘how’ you see the other person understanding your message. If they don’t seem to understand what you’re saying then, if the message is important, you need to find another way of stating it.
Message and Messenger are so interrelated that it’s difficult to separate the two. The Messenger has a responsibility to present the Message so that the listener can understand – if you, as the messenger, don’t see this value then you’ll never be effective.
