It really is quite uncomfortable being a fence sitter. Plus, no one can count on you because you are constantly trying to shift your position to still stay on the fence but be in a more comfortable position. Not going to happen. And with all the shifting going on – do you know where you stand?
I suspect that some of the fence sitting lifestyle comes from a people pleasing desire. If you don’t ‘choose’ then you won’t be rejected. It won’t work, you know, because others pick up on your lack of commitment to one position or the other and have no basis to trust in you. Why would anyone seek your involvement if they know that you may change your mind the next time you are in communication with someone with an opposing view?
Another cause for fence sitting may be an avoidance of making commitment…. to anything. If you don’t commit then you never have to take a stand for a particular position thus keeping your options open. Not true. Your option is a no option stand.
What other reasons are there for fence sitting that don’t fall under people pleasing or an unwillingness to commit? None. If you were to offer the … I don’t have enough facts to make a decision… reason, then when will you? The ‘in process’ position, at some point, does need to take a stand.
You can’t be a both/and on your stand – you must be willing to stand strong. However, taking a stand doesn’t mean that you can’t change your mind. If you find that the stand you’ve made is no longer viable, you need to correct your position. But whatever change you make, you need to be as overt about the change as you were about the original.
Remember: If you don’t stand for something you will fall for everything. (A slight paraphrase of the famous quote by Edmund Burke) And it is true. If you don’t know where you stand then you are fence sitting and fence sitting is a coward’s position.
