What do you do when conflict raises it’s head? Some people will do just about anything to avoid a ‘fight’ and some people will do just about anything to spark a ‘fight’. If neither of those two descriptions fit you then you must fall somewhere on the continuum between the two.
While avoiding a fight may seem the noble, the more mature response to conflict it can also be the coward’s way out. Harsh? Probably. Those who take this approach typically deny their own beliefs to avoid the animosity and uncomfortable feelings. Or they simply lie. ‘Not deigning to reply’ is a form of lying because you give a false impression of your own beliefs.
Have you ever really looked at your flight rather than fight approach to resolution? Why do you avoid standing up for what you believe in the face of opposition? Often what happens with a person who isn’t totally convinced of their own stand is that they test it against someone who holds an opposing view. Unfortunately the disagreement tends to devolve into personalities rather than the issue.
If you truly have the ‘strength of your conviction’ then your stance is not one of defiance or threat, it’s a stance of confidence. However, when it is attacked then a person with this approach to resolution will stand firm but still be able to listen to the opposing view and handle the ‘fight’ on this basis rather than personal. The real determination is whether or not you’ve taken a stand on some issue that you have studied out. Thus you also know the arguments for and against it.
Resolving conflict may seem uncomfortable but it can also be a method of sharpening your sword, your position. Both of you may exit the confrontation convinced of your own stand, the point is… how you make your point – do you engage or do you fight?
