Have you ever thought about the word, ‘no’? About how the word is said evokes different reactions? But also, regardless of how it is spoken, when it is said it stops everything? Those two letters are powerful and I sometimes think they are even more powerful then ‘yes’. Think back… what is typically the first word spoken by a child? It’s ‘no’. Why? Probably because it is one of the first words that make a connection in the mind, the first word heard. And it says, loud and clear, do not under any circumstance do whatever you are doing!
Typically our response to how we hear the word depends on: how the speaker says it, the level of personal investment in whatever is being said ‘no’ to, the ability of the ‘no’ to stop us, and the ‘status’ of the speaker. There are other considerations, but these are the ones that flash through our mind nearly instantaneously before we consciously react. I think it is because my parents always, yes – always, gave me a reason when they said no that I won’t accept a bald no. My personal reaction has typically been, ‘why?’. And if there isn’t a reasoned answer, I simply disregard it. Do remember who it is that determines the ‘reasoned answer’.
In my more rational moments I believe that ‘no’ should be part of any action plan. ‘No’ test the viability of what and why of the plan. ‘No’ doesn’t always mean no forever, it may only be a momentary check so that all options and ramifications are considered. Knowing the reason for a no gives you data to consider with the other options. Regardless, how we react to hearing ‘no’ is critical. We need to take a moment and react rationally.
Granted that what I’ve said is a tad tongue-in-cheek, there is a very serious side to our reaction to the word. When you hear it do you automatically accept it and change your direction/project/thinking without analyzing for yourself? Or, do you rush headlong into what you were doing disregarding the (possible) warning? Neither is particularly wise or effective. Perhaps the wisest course is to stop long enough to analyze the new information (the why of the no) before deciding what your best action may be. No may become a yes upon further consideration… then again, it may remain – no.
