Where are you on the control continuum? Are you a total control freak or do you find yourself in the I-don’t-seem-to-ever-be-in-control category? Be honest… we all like to have our way, so what kind of controller are you? The: ‘it’s my way or the highway’ or maybe you’re a ‘come let us reason together’ or ‘I value your input but I don’t want to hear it just now’? Perhaps you are the subtle controller or maybe you are an in your face type… or… do you manipulate the people and activity to get your way?
A different question is what do you do when you are not in control? Will/Do you follow… or do you attempt to exert your position? A sub question: is controlling and getting your way the same? Obviously we follow good and effective leaders easier, but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes we are/have to follow people who have the position but not the skills. In these cases do we try to help the ineffective leader? Do as little as possible? or do we sabotage the leader and provide our leadership as an option?
For some people control is an ‘in all cases’. They attempt to control everything and everyone regardless of whether or not they have the ability to lead. Some people attempt to control by being disruptive in some fashion. There are multiple styles of control sabotage. But, do you look at the ‘why’? Do you truly believe you would do a better job of leading? And even if you would, can you take a supportive role instead and help the leader to success? Perhaps you are a selective controller – when it comes to areas that you have expertise you feel that this is where you (always) should be selected as leader.
Regardless of the dynamics, you need to be able to be an effective follower. No, you don’t let them go down the ‘prism road’ if you know disaster is lurking but if you don’t have the decision making authority then after alerting of the impending danger, you have to step aside. And no, that doesn’t mean you have to go into the disaster – you can excuse yourself without controlling their decision. Control is like power – it can be harnessed only by integrity and honor, not deceit or manipulation.
