I sometimes, in my less than rational moments, wonder if mankind is predestined to mess up. We seem to do it with such regularity. However, the questions that emanate are really addressing the ‘now what’: what do you do when you are the source or create a mess? Do you point fingers? Try to subtly disappear? Take responsibility? What is your first thought and ‘action’? Excuse?Apologize? Explain? Look for a scapegoat? The answers to these questions do point to your character and it definitely speaks to your maturity. Since we all are subject to making these blunders, it is important to know our first reaction. I know I would like to be seen as a mature person but there are moments when I only exasperate the situation.
The worse ‘mess up’ is when it is people based. And most of the problem(s) typically stem from your attempts at correction – that’s why it is so important to know and understand what you do to ‘correct’. Obviously the ‘logical’ thing is to do a quick assessment as to what it was you did and then the implications that ensued. Hurt feelings or mistakes are one thing – trust is another. When you break trust with another person, once broken it rarely is reestablished. Regardless, there are certain actions that are mandatory such as apologizing. Sometimes that’s the only thing you can do… or need to do.
It’s never easy to accept the fact and responsibility that what happened was due to your fault – what you did or did not do. But it happens. The ’cause’ of the fault isn’t in question at this moment, it’s the fact that you did it. While it is important to correct/salvage the current situation I think we lose sight of our own feelings and actions too often. We need to simultaneously and intentionally look to what we do because that too will speak to ‘how’ we respond to correcting or salvaging. Logic says that we will repeat previous reactions without reasoning, but if they are self defeating, this will delay correcting and growing.
We waste considerably less time and effort if we acknowledge our fault and move on to redeem the situation. But if saving face is the primary motivator then we typically end up losing the trust of those we are working with through our delaying tactics. How and what we do impacts on setting the ‘mores’ of the environment regardless of our place and function. Own up… move on…
…but, what do you think? what do you believe?
