Are you? The answer is – of course. Don’t go all self righteous, we all, to some degree or other, are self absorbed. It’s another of those ‘givens’. It’s not something to be ashamed of… unless it controls you. And, until you are able to acknowledge that you are self absorbed you won’t be able to ‘control’ it rather than it controlling you. When you remember that mankind is a creation that experiences and learns based on application, then it’s not surprising. We are the subject, the center by which we understand and relate to the world around us.
No value judgment but do you know the definition of self absorbed? Webster says: “…absorbed in one’s own thoughts, activities, or interests”. Personally I dislike any definition that uses itself as the definition. Absorb, according to Webster has many definitions but the closest to this conversation is: to engage or engross wholly. It’s the ‘wholly’ that’s the problem. It’s impossible for us to not use ourselves as the frame of reference in our learning and applying the learning. The problem is if we: 1- expect others to adhere to our understanding and 2- don’t look for alternative understandings.
Wholly really doesn’t need to mean ‘only’. Problems arise, however, when wholly does means only. Our responsibility is to be honest with ourselves and determine on the scale – where our level of self absorption is. We have our frame of reference based on our experiences and that’s understandable, again – the issues arise when we expect others to have the same one. While it may not be logical to make the assumption, we still do and we always are surprised.
The other issue is our cement approach to life and life’s issues. Once we have arrived at a ‘philosophy’ that makes sense we need to have a refining mindset. There are very few things that truly are in cement. As we interact with our world and the people who populate it we can be involved in a great adventure of discovery or we can attempt to dig our heels in and be buffeted by all that comes into contact with us. Exactly ‘how’ are you self absorbed?
…but, what do you think? what do you believe?
