I HATE to wait – on anything, at any time! It might be part of my impatience package, but I must admit, waiting is my least favorite thing to do. Unfortunately this is rarely the same mindset of those causing others to wait. They ‘operate’ on a different perspective. While I think it is most disrespectful to others, this does not seem to be a universal definition. I think the reason I dislike waiting so much is that I no longer have the control (or joint control) in the situation – I have to wait for the missing part. Granted I could simply move on, but if the piece/part/person I’m waiting on is important to (whatever) then waiting really is my only option.
Time seems to stand still when you’re waiting. There’s little to occupy you during the waiting time. If you could simply continue on then you no longer are waiting (by definition). See why I get so frustrated?! Plus, when it is a person I’m waiting for, they are saying to me loud and clear that I’m quite irrelevant or unimportant. That what they are currently doing is far more important to them than meeting me at the appointed time and place. Obviously this presupposes an agreement on time and place. And when they rush in but don’t have what was expected that they would bring, then I am rushing… toward anger – which never helps because when it’s family, you really can’t express it.
Now… if you are the person causing the others to wait – why? Why do you cause this situation? And if you say that the others can just continue until you come… when you are an integral part, they can’t. Perhaps if I understood why it is that you are typically always late, the last to come then I’d be a bit more accepting. Maybe not, but at least I’d have an increased knowledge. The other interesting aspect is that rarely is there an apology by the late-ee of why they are late or even an explanation.
Regardless, the problem is ultimately mine because I’m the one waiting. I’m the one who will need to develop coping mechanisms as long as I’m in relationship. My choice really comes down to my value on the relationship. Or in equation form: does my unhappiness/discomfort at being kept waiting equal, or less than, or more than the relationship? The possibility of changing the other person is fairly minimal so I need to look at my issues with… waiting.
…but, what do you think?
