You do realize that your actions have consequences, don’t you? Both good and bad. Every word, every act we say/do results in some form of consequence. I don’t remember, when I was a child growing up, a large number of ‘nos’ from my parents. And no, they were totally enamored by my brother and I to the point that our every wish was their command – hardly. I think that it was because they used a different approach and were trying to help us to develop into good decision-makers.
I do remember being asked if I realized what the results would be if I continued in the behavior I was engaged in. Also, I remember being asked if I realized that if I did one thing it would have this result and if I did another it would have those results. Then I was asked which I preferred. Did I always choose wisely? Hardly, I was a kid and kids make mistakes! But adults aren’t also always wise and they make mistakes. My point is that from an early age I was raised to consider consequences from my words and behavior, to look at potential ramifications. And no, I didn’t always do this.
Was my parents’ option planning approach for teaching me how to make my decisions skewed into what they thought best? Probably. And they would never have allowed me to put myself in harm’s way, but they were more focused on providing a foundation for me on how to make decisions. I also remember that they typically took the time and asked me why I was choosing one over the other(s). And it was from this that I learned that consequences happen, always – good and bad.
While it is my belief that we should focus on the first step – how we make decisions, we also have to look at our behavior and reactions to consequences from the decisions. What do we do when the outcome is not positive? Ideally we assume our responsibility and focus on resolving what has happened in order to turn the ‘negative’ into a more effective basis to move on. Probably not always our first thought. I would like to think that I take a more proactive approach and consider the potential consequences from all the options before making a decision. While this is rational, because time, resources, energy restraints influence the decision we don’t always have this luxury.
I will, as will you, always have a preferred decision-making style. This, however, does not mitigate on the unalterable reality that there are always consequences from acting and from standing still. I believe the point is to be proactive in whatever is our style and be open to improvement and refinement.
