I believe that I am a great example that there really are second chances. Personally, I find this to be a terrific blessing. Well at least it’s a positive from my perspective. Wouldn’t want to speak for you, but I am always a candidate for the potential of second chances, especially when I’ve done or said ‘something’ that I now regret. The message is always subject to the expression. Question – are there ‘conditions’ for second chances to occur? My first thought would be – YES.
However, if all we’re going to do is to repeat the behavior (words) that caused the need for a second change, what’s the purpose to give you/me another opportunity? The axiom that if we don’t learn from history we are doomed to repeat it applies here. Also if we don’t appreciate that we’ve been given a second chance then why would we even want it? Second chances, in my world of definitions, are the opportunities to ‘right a wrong’ or redeem or clarify the situation.
Another important consideration is – do you want the second chance? Will you be willing to make the adjustments (probably in your attitude) to warrant the opportunity? Will the adjustments ‘cost’ you too much? Remember that there is always a price to pay, a cost both to do and not do. The problem seems to be that we don’t give sufficient consideration to this reality. ‘Cost’ is both a positive or a negative – the value comes from what we do, how we respond.
Do remember too that second chances never mirror exactly the same conditions that existed with the first opportunity. The difference lies in our awareness that we have been given another chance to redeem the situation. In all of this I never suggest that you stray from your own standards and beliefs – compromise is never the answer. Nor do I suggest that you merely ‘placate’ the other person – that’s typically a form of lying, which always turns on you. The critical learning in this situation is that repeating, even when you think You are right, will never lead to effectiveness.
So what can you do? Make certain that the other person is understanding, but acknowledge that it’s your opinion. Discover what they are thinking by asking them questions rather than telling them what they should think. It’s true that you may be ‘right’ but if you want the other person to understand then use this second chance to demonstrate why you believe as you do. Walk your talk… regardless.
