…with myself! Have you done or said ‘something’ that had consequences that you hadn’t planned on and now you’ve ‘done it!’ Familiar? Been there before? We all have. Unfortunately this is one of those, ‘been there, done that, bought the sweatshirt’ realities. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling. Our decision is what to do not just with the feeling but with the ‘situation’. Can we repair the breech that’s occurred?
I believe that while the feeling is uncomfortable, that should not be the focus. We should be attempting to, as dispassionately as possible, determine if there is anything we can do beyond apologizing. Sometimes we can only live with the consequences from our words/actions. This can be excruciatingly difficult, but since we are the cause, we have to. You do have to realize that there are times that you really can’t fix (fill in the blank), yes?
Making amends is always a more comforting act when these times arise. Then we can ‘move on’, yes? Without determining how we can avoid these types of situations in the future would be a fruitful activity. Obviously it is necessary, in these situations, to review what it was we did/didn’t do, said/didn’t say. Was it an unthinking, mindless moment? We need to learn from what happened so we don’t repeat it. Also, we can learn a great deal about ourselves and how we ‘handle’ those moments in which it truly is out of our hands and we can’t remedy. While it’s nice to believe that we always have the ability to ‘control’ the situation… is this true?
Since I believe in a learner’s mindset, I believe that any and all situations – good and bad – provide us with countless opportunities to learn. I tend to believe that those ‘uncomfortable’ learnings have the more lasting impact. The point is to look at any learning potential from as many viewpoints as possible. Look at all sides. Consider all possible potential ramifications from your words/actions. When you develop this skill, you’ll probably discover that you don’t find yourself in these totally, completely irritated with self situation as often. They will happen… but when they do, you may find yourself equipped to respond from a more effective ‘perspective’.
