Of all the possible reactions to me – what I’ve said or done – the one that causes me the most distress is disappointment, regardless of who expresses it. Disappointment is difficult to deal with – no argument. I would maintain that when you are disappointed in yourself, this can be disastrous since it always seems to paralyze and incapacitate us. I’m not sure if it’s the surprise at being/doing (fill in the blank) which causes our disappointment, but I do believe that we allow it to control and effectively handcuff ourselves.
“Don’t be disappointed with yourself. Just thank God for what
He’s already done, and press forward knowing that each step
you take closer to God is a good step.” (Jesse Duplantis)
If that sounds easy, it isn’t. Typically we are our own worse ‘enemy’ – our expectations of ourselves are often in the impossible category. However, when we are willfulness with words or actions that has resulted in a negative or in an ‘unfortunate’ situation, then we know ‘who’s to blame’. We are! And this is such an uncomfortable position to be in – now what?! Some one or place to turn? How do we get out of the place we find ourselves?
‘Moving on’ is rarely effective until you’ve dealt with what was/is. As difficult as it may seem, the only logical place to start is with an apology and then self-forgiveness because repentance is always an attempt to never repeat. So, whether others forgive you or give you ‘another chance’, you need to forgive you. And forgiveness does not mean dragging your error into your next. Did you ever consider that even if you have wasted all the time, energy, resources you’ve been given that you can turn this around? That disappointment will evaporate as you change your perspective and purpose?
I think there are times we all disappoint ourselves, sometimes not in the view of others. How we handle disappointment speaks to who we are and how we go about being us. Continuing to beat ourselves up rarely accomplishes anything and truly is a lousy witness. It says that when we disappoint there is no redemption. No one or place to turn that can be or is stronger than our behavior or words. Is this your message? If so then reconsider Whose you are. The Lord is always able, available, and willing to help us stand when we turn to Him. This is a far better witness and answer than wallowing.
