I use the word ‘Father’ because that’s how I think of You. ‘God’ sounds so austere, so ominous, so grand, so… out there, and my relationship with You has been more of a Father-child. If that sounds too familiar or too disrespectful or not sufficiently awestruck – not my intent. But I don’t know if I’ve ever felt You were too omni to characterize our relationship as cowering or unapproachable. Simply, You are, You’ve always been, and You’ll always be and with that said… You also chose me.
Not sure I’d be my choice but that doesn’t dismiss the fact that in the midst of my non perfect, sinful self – You chose to choose me. I certainly don’t dismiss nor consider this lightly – quite honestly, I was delighted. It was easy to see that it wasn’t anything I did or would do, be or become that was the reason You chose me – You simply acted in love and then extended the invitation (as You do for everyone) and I had the intelligence (divine help) to accept Your invitation. To say that nothing’s been the same since is an understatement.
Knowing that You are love gave me a measure, a standard to judge my own words and actions. Talk about failing miserably – I did, and still do. But, my mindset has changed and now I intentionally attempt to speak and act from love. Not the gushy type nor the equivocal nor the I’ll-do-something-for-you-and-you-do-something-for-me kind that I’ve seen and experience. I really try and act and speak love in truth -unconditionally. The mindset is in place even when I don’t succeed.
I’ve learned that Love isn’t weak, it doesn’t compromise. Yet it is gentle, kind, and understanding (even in the midst of nothing making sense). I’ve been able to see and understand some of what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13 and make it real in my life… at least to the extent that I do. It is a standard to judge what I do and how I go about doing it. And no, I don’t always act in love, but I have a Father who will forgive (1 John 1:9, 2:1) when I come seeking forgiveness – and continues to act toward me lovingly. This also tells me that I can’t hold anything against anyone either. To be in a position to accept love I have to walk in love.
Because You, my Father-God, put such an emphasis on Love I need to grow in how I demonstrate it. Words are lovely but only if there is action that accompanies the words. I think that this letter is simply my way of letting You know that I truly am trying to be Your hand of love in the world I inhabit. But that I’m also grateful that You will forgive me when I fail. I will stand again and try again. So on this day of your birth I wanted to tell You just how important You are to me. Just wanted to put my thoughts and feelings into words and pray that the words translate in to actions.
Your daughter
