Such a Big word. Typically, individually defined. But what are the characteristic that you include in your definition? Trust has to be more than just a feeling, more than simply esoteric – we all need to have reasons based on our standards that define trust and give us clear understanding of when trust has been shattered (and not just hurt feelings). Trust is never something you casually extend to others – it is earned. Earning is the issue especially if it’s been breached. Just as you should never cavalierly give trust to another, you should never quickly take it back.
Earn. What is meant by this? One definition by Webster is, “…to deserve as a result of labor or service.” The operable word is ‘deserve’. Again, this is determined over time and experience – you have observed from the other person’s words and actions that they are trustworthy. Reliable might be another adjective that explains and defines trust. The point is that you have a basis to determine that in your life, person A is one you can trust. Oddly enough, you don’t have to ‘like’ the person, though typically they do operate together, the point is their ‘believability’.
I know that believability isn’t a word according to Webster, but it should be. Believability is previously observed behavior and words. Believability is consistent and congruent – a ‘what you see is what you get’. And don’t get caught in the negative words of stodgy and unchanging. You will know with the person who earns your trust that if they ‘act out of character’ there’s a reason that you can discern or discover.
We all need to have at least one person in our lives that we trust (my definition), that is our go-to person when we need a sounding board. It really is true that no man is an island, none of us are the font of all wisdom. And, I suspect, that even if we were, we would still need another person in our lives that we can talk with, that hold our confidences, that are willing to share their best thinking without having their own personal agenda. Paragon of all virtue? Does sound like it and that’s not possible. But I suspect we do know those who we can trust – if not in all things at all times, at least someone who tries to be a person of their word. Now… how about us? Are we believable, worthy of trust?
