but it’s not the me I want me to be! Ever feel like that? To me it’s the lament Paul talks when he says he does those things he doesn’t want to do and doesn’t do the things he wants to do. (Romans 7:15.19) What’s our answer? What can we do about this issue or are we always subject to our own worse self?
Granted that last statement was somewhat melodramatic, but it doesn’t lessen its reality. What can we do? Be more aware and intentional – yes. Continue to grow and put off the old self and put on the new (Colossians 3:9) – yes. Continue to renew our minds (Romans 12:2) – yes. And??? One suggestion might be that daily, at night, review your day. Recognize those times that you did do those things that you wanted to do and what and why this came about. Also, recognize the reverse. When this becomes a regular habit then it will be an excellent way to grow into that better you.
Why? (Philippians 3:13-14), Paul:
“…but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and
reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward
the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
To gain the prize (the upward call). To Be and Do all that has been planned for me. To be a good, fruitful steward. Those goals are prize worthy.
If you want to continue to grow into your best you, if you want to do those things you want and not do those things you don’t want then you have to be mindful to do what enhances these opportunities and eliminate from your responses those temptations that lead you astray. And I would suggest that one of the first things you need to do is allow yourself grace when you don’t do what you want. Not excuse, not explanation but acknowledgement of what you did ‘wrong’ and grant yourself the grace to grow beyond that and seek those words and behaviors that increase your ‘right’s’. If you wallow in self recrimination you waste time. Yes you were wrong but yes you also repented and now it’s time to continue. You really CAN do it and become your best you.
