The beginning of a relationship may begin serendipitously, but the continuance is dependent upon the desires and willfulness, not just willingness, of those involved. Without continuous involvement by all, the relationship will atrophy. I know that the old saying says, “…that absence makes the heart grow fonder”, but does this really ‘work’, I suspect that these relationships rarely last. Those involved must have a commitment to the relationship and for its health or it will gradually dissolve into only the superficial.
And yet, from in a different context, I’ve learned to distrust anyone who says to me that they ‘know’ me when there is little time spent together. So one of my building blocks in Relationship Building 101 is time. Another of these blocks is to not limit the other person’s growth or change – to not cast them into a cement of their ‘who’ they were, even if the then was only yesterday. We all grow, change, and develop based on a host of variables so we should always approach the other person with an openness to discovery – that there is so much more to learn about the other person and the relationship with them.
This may go without saying, but another building block is truthfulness. If you can’t rely on the other person’s words or what they say they will do, then you tend to be on guard against (fill in the blank). Concomitantly, if you don’t act with integrity, how can the other person be confident in what you say and do? By both parties there is always that degree of … hesitation, a lack of confidence in the other person.
Taking this another step further, what is happening in/with your relationship with the Lord? Are you building a confident and secure interaction? I indicated only two of the many factors that go into building a relationship… with anyone. But, unless you take the time, because the Lord is always there, always ready (Deuteronomy 31:6) then the relationship will be superficial and/or crisis based. Do you really only want a superficial relationship with the Lord? What then, are you willing to do to have a close and intimate one?
Time has to be a component, a part in the building. Equally critical is that you be completely honest with Him. He knows. He was there when you said or did what you said/did. It really wasn’t a surprise to Him. So why try and bluff your way? And yes, I know we do. Or we do something even worse by staying away because we are embarrassed or feel He won’t forgive or whatever is keeping us away. Never, never, never forget 1John 1:9. If we… then He is. This promise is not license but it is understanding and forgiveness… and moving on.
Time and honesty are only 2 examples of the foundation pillars in relationship building. But they are significant ones. They have to be present or you have a superficial relationship and that never is acceptable to the Lord. The incredible joy, though, is that you can always begin developing a relationship right now, right where you are. Do start building your relationship with the Lord if you haven’t. And if you have begun one, but have somehow let the cares of the world invade your time with Him, remember He is waiting. We limit ourselves when we don’t take the opportunity to begin… now.
