Do you extend restoration to those who hurt you but regret this and want to maintain the relationship. I must admit that this is another of my favorite words… because the potential result (restored) holds so much promise. However, how do you define restore? Do you believe this possible for yourself? in relationships? with the Lord? Does your restoration, or the lack, influence who you are and how you react to your day and interact with those who populate your day? Exactly what has been restored in your life? And what are you needing restored? Is restoration even the right word?
I try not to think in ‘tit for tat’ or material things when it comes to restoration. Especially when you are attempting to restore a relationship, do you know why there is a need for restoration? The answer to this question will go a long way toward giving you answers to what you might need to do in order for the relationship to ‘re-start’, even when you are the injured party. Never expect that what was will be precisely what is now and can be… yesterday is not the best foundation when a breech has occurred. You need, along with the other person, to see what you want to occur next.
If you are the injured party then allow grace to the other person if they truly are sorry for what happened and want to restore the relationship. We too were lost. Read again – Romans 5:10, Colossians 1:21-23, and Ephesians 2:12. God reconciled us to Him and restored our relationship, can we do less to our brother, especially one who truly is sorry?
If the issue is trust, then restoration is on an entirely different level. Loss of trust is difficult to restore, even in the best of situations. And no, I’m not suggesting you ‘give up’ but recognize that restoration may take longer. If you are the one who has been injured/hurt then remember that if you do restore the relationship that you both need to sit down and resolve the trust issue before moving on to restoration.
Restoration is always a choice, but it has to be mutual between those currently not in relationship. The bottom line typically is – will you let go of what happened and move on in relationship? It may take time when the issue is trust but you can’t force the other person to ‘prove’ their worth. And you can’t continually remind them of ‘what they did’ – whether by word or action on your part. Freely you have been given (and forgiven), freely give.
