Are we too quick to cast the first stone? Or maybe we don’t realize the negative impact our words and/or actions can be when we ‘accuse’. Do we have the ‘facts/evidence’ correct? Have we talked, first, with the offending person to discover their understanding of what they would be accused? Has an attempt been made to redeem the person and situation? Is a public accusation the only, final, and best action?
A great many questions. But, I believe if we have a ‘redeem the situation or person’ mindset, then our hands are clean and we are doing what we believe is the best method to resolution. Obviously, our decision should be confirmed and not just with like minded people, with how we believe the Lord wants us to act. Remember that His mindset is redemption not merely correction. Which leads to the question of motive. Are you interested in redemption or in condemnation? Do you want the other person to change, to reverse what they said or did? What is the reason in your heart and mind?
What if the other person doesn’t care? or doesn’t believe they are in the ‘wrong’? Ultimately, it’s not your decision to accept (or not) what you are saying whether it is correction or accusation. This is when your ‘how’ of what you say has an enormous impact on the receptivity by the other person. I’ve discovered that if I start with the mindset that there are (usually) always 2 sides in every situation, then when I understand why what was done, or not done, I have a better approach to explain to the other person. If they honestly don’t believe they’ve done ‘wrong’ then beginning with condemnation/correction is rarely accepted or even understood. Aren’t we in the business of redeeming rather than only accusing?
If we are casting a stone, then we need to be very clear about our intentions and motives – to ourselves as well as others. I tend to believe that stone casting should be the court of last resort. We all are quick to criticize without having all the facts and understandings. Stone casting is a step beyond criticism and should be a basis for correction. Also, I tend to believe that a public demonstration should also be included in the last resort. Granted Paul encouraged the Corinthians to (publicly) remove a brother from fellowship when he had sinned. But Paul also called for mercy when the brother repented.
We all make mistakes. We all sin. But if we are truly repentant, then we also need restoration and mercy. Never be quick to cast a stone, but also for the sake of all – do what is right. And this always includes restoration. If you are the one needing restoring, never allow your own ego to stop you from acknowledging your sin and repenting. Look at the example from the Prodigal Son story – do what is right.
