On hindsight… and sometimes during, do you ever stop and ask yourself WHY are you doing what you’re doing? I do. Sometimes I surprise (both negatively and positively) myself! Not always want to be surprised in this fashion. But the answer to why I am doing (fill in the blank) sometimes seems to elude me. Or am I being purposefully ‘blind’? Answer – possibly. Personally, I really do believe we absolutely know what we do and the potential ramifications from our words and actions. ‘Oops’ really doesn’t occur.
I’m a why-am-I(you)-doing-what-I’m-doing type. Why has always been important for me to know. I don’t do not knowing very well. Granted, I may not always like the answer but to be in an answer-less position is far worse. I would also suggest that many of us do not take the time and energy to consider our whys very often. And I suspect that the reason is that focusing on our whys may stop us from doing or saying something… and we don’t always want to listen to that check in our spirits. Self-defeating behaviors? Of course, but if we’re honest then that reason doesn’t always take precedent.
I also believe that if we’d let the why questions have a voice more often then we’d not be trying to make amends, apologize, or ignore our words and behaviors that provided those results we didn’t want. And, be honest, are we ever surprised at the results that are less than satisfactory? We sometimes get in our own way. If the behavior is based in a ‘get even’ reaction – never forget that revenge is a dish best served cold (Eugene Sue, 1846) and “… vengeance is mine says the Lord, I will repay…” (Deuteronomy 32:35, Romans 12:17-19)
Actually I think whys are great tools for understand – ourselves, others, the situation. The more we ask ourselves the whys in our words and behaviors, the more accurate understanding we have of who we are and how we go about doing this. Whys don’t paint with a self-interest brush as they tend to be more ‘honest’. Whys don’t let us get away with easy answers. And, at least in my life, they aren’t always consoling because they make me face why I‘m doing what I’m doing, the real reason not the socially acceptable one. They’re merciless, one could say ruthless, in this.
