What are your givens? We all have them. They provide us with our contexts, our ‘ordering’, our frame of reference. Either we do this subconsciously or we do this deliberately… but this isn’t a negative. Unless we put people in cement, givens are our way of responding to our world. The tragedy… or at least discomfort, occurs when we try to apply this to people. They really won’t stand still, you know. They will continue to grow and develop, do expected as well as unexpected things… as do you.
Givens are those unchangeables in our lives. Do you know yours consciously? We do need to know what are our standards and principles that we live and interact with during our day. Example: are you the type that believes in ‘little white lies’? They really don’t exist you know, but many people use this as their excuse. Do you? Or do you rigorously focus on only speaking the truth? This can take the form of not responding as much as speaking. Point is… where is your truth line in the sand?
Givens speak to our character – how we present ourselves in our world and how we continue in this fashion. Are we one thing one moment and different the next? If so, how do we juggle this type of behavior? Character is a critical component in how others view us and from this context, interact with us. Are your opinions sought after and valued? Or do others not request your input because of how you have responded in the past?
Recognizing that givens aren’t always in firm cement, do you take the time to help others see how you’ve changed, grown from your initial position? And why the change recognizes who you are becoming? I sometimes think that we err when we don’t explain our why’s. Our journey can provide others with their own understandings of themselves. Givens are our platforms to grow on or from. They give us understandings to become all we are intended to be.
I don’t tend to believe in cement. Cement doesn’t seem to allow for growth, there’s no breathing room. There are always exceptions of course. Do you know yours?
