Now that I give it more thought… can’t, can have a seat at the table. But its role has to be specifically defined. You can’t unsay, you can’t undo, you can’t unknow, and you can’t use these can’ts to cripple yourself – they aren’t an excuse. Just like knowing what is the problem is not sufficient, you must do and/or say what does need to be accomplished to correct, amend, change.
So often ‘can’t’ is only an attempt to not do something you don’t want to do. It really is OK to say ‘no’ rather than simply saying, ‘I can’t.’ This type of can’t is more of a ‘won’t’. In many respects can’t has gotten a bad rep simply because it is misused. The irony is that most people hearing can’t from you realize that it basically is a situation that you don’t want to, not that you can’t.
Where or in what situations does ‘can’t’ have a viable place? Can’t can exist when it isn’t an excuse… when it is based in concrete, thought out reasonings… when it is truly beyond the resources, giftings, talents of the person… when it is a situation that even angels wouldn’t enter. Can’t is proper in it’s use.
I do realize that all of this discussion appears to be a tongue-in-cheek and of little to no significance. Au contrare (or however you spell it). Tongue-in-cheek – true. But if can’t is part of your conversation then you really do need to rethink why you use the word and how ‘truthful’ it is. Are you really in a can’t situation or not? If not, then simply say you don’t want to. Can’t means you are unable and probably never will be able – that it is beyond who you are. Is it….
