Mercy? or Justice? Which do you extend? You can’t answer with a ‘it depends’. Because, bottom line is our first reaction or thought… Will we forgive or will we ‘get even’? You do realize that the phrase, get even, is merely a euphemism for revenge. (notta question) Seriously, does the prospect of getting your revenge sit well? Is it really empowering?
When it comes to ‘revenge’ there is a saying that it is best served cold. But scripture has an even better response – don’t do it!
“Vengeance is Mine, and recompense; Their foot shall slip in due time; For the day of their calamity is at hand, And the things to come hasten upon them.” (Deuteronomy 32:35, NKJV)
“Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you,
live peaceably with all e. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:17-19, NKJV)
Those words in the Old and New Testament put a period to any question about revenge. Besides you waste so much time and creative energy trying to develop a way in which the offending person realizes it is you who is wrecking revenge but no one else does.
So how do you handle revenge? Maybe you’re the passive aggressive type who rings every bit of whatever you are seeking out of others? These people never forget and always carry a grudge. How to know? Just listen to them. Point here is that this is never an effective way to handle your need(?) for revenge because it never satisfies. And an eventual ‘I told you so’ doesn’t satisfy either.
The best way to handle revenge is to forgive. Forgive the other person for what they did (even if they didn’t realize what happened because of their words or actions) and forgive yourself for wanting revenge. If you don’t act on the want for revenge, then it’s a lot easier then when you do and now you have another mess to deal with. Honestly, was your revenge worth it?
There’s a British saying – that revenge is a dish best served cold. Actually, it should never become a dish. The ultimate realization that now you have to deal with the affects of your act is not worth it. Walk away. Be the ‘bigger person’. Remember… you don’t really know what initiated the other person’s behavior that caused the emergence of revenge.