These are Jesus words in John. However, they are not our excuse or license for bad behavior – not a glee that it will never be ‘my fault’, a ‘not my problem’. But also it isn’t a way to shift our responsibility. If we stop a moment and think, then it would be obvious that the Lord is also telling us to be with Him. Yes?
“Remain in Me, and I [will remain] in you. Just as no branch can bear fruit by itself without remaining in the vine, neither can you unless you remain in Me. [a]I am the Vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him bears much fruit, for [otherwise] apart from Me [that is, cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in Me, he is thrown out like a [broken off] branch, and withers and dies; and they gather such branches and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. if you remain in Me and My words remain in you [that is, if we are vitally united and My message lives in your heart], ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you.” (John 15:4-7, AMP)
Talk about a meaty 4 verses! In these verses are promises, understanding, choices, results. We are told what we need to do: ‘Remain in Me (Jesus)’ and then the explanation is given – our why of remaining (abiding): bearing fruit. It also implies that this is a position/status that we current ARE in and we are told to stay in this relationship. We are also told what will happen if we choose not to abide in the Lord: thrown out/wither/die/burned. Then the final verse that we like to quote so often: ‘ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you.’
I think the main point is the start – remain in Him. It is always our choice, our decision to walk with the Lord. He does not make it difficult for us and He tells us in so many scriptures to BE with Him. He tells us what to do to continue walking with Him. He tells us what happens when we do and when we don’t. Soooo… why don’t we? We may start but sometimes we get off the path. Sometimes it’s purposeful… sometimes unintentional. The last state is controllable. We need to be intentional! But intentional is not defined as stressful.
If you are standing out of relationship, you can always return. The Lord is very aware of the seductions and temptations we face (Hebrews 4:15) and He stands ready to help us through these temptations (1Corinthians 10:13). The Holy Spirit is also available to assist us – we just have to confess our sin, resolve not to repeat the behavior and He cleanses us from all unrighteousness (1John 1:9). There is absolutely NO NEED to be apart from Him. But thankfully, when we do and recognize this – He has already provided a way back!
