Don’t you realllllly hate it when you feel put upon? Maybe the request came from a voice attempting to make you feel guilty if you said ‘no’? Perhaps your plate is stacked to overflowing and you really don’t want to!? And there can be all sorts of reactions, but how do you handle requests when they are simply one more imposition? Probably not well. And saying ‘it’s ok ‘cause we all do/feel this’ doesn’t make the feelings go away.
Regardless of your situation and/or how the request was presented… do you say you’ll ‘do it’? Why? It’s not worth the hassle to say ‘no’? I remember hearing (and being told?) that if you wanted something done, ask someone who is already overworked. I remember thinking that this was never a kindness, give that person a break. Regardless, this was the prevailing view.
First we need to start with – do you accept the request? (How gracious is your response?) Do you know your ‘why’?
“Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.” (Galatians 1:6, MSG)
Is this what compels you, is this what is directing your emotions? If so, well done. If not, still the ‘why’ you accepted. I do like how the Message Bible phrases these verses… especially the ‘forgivingly’. When our mindset and actions mirror this word then it’s an ongoing not one and done response. This changes the context of behavior entirely.
Part of the reality of what’s happening is that we only have our reaction … we don’t know what compelled the other person to ask us. And yes, they may have done so expecting us to accept, but that’s not the point. It also speaks to the relationship of the request-er and you. Inevitably is our perspective that dictates whether we accept or politely refuse ‘impositions’. But remember:
“Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, “How can I help?” (Romans 15:1-2, MSG)
