Do you know if you are congruent? Do you listen to what you say… and see what you do? Do you like you… despite your ‘failings’? How do you know all that? Can one tell from your words and behavior? Are your words and behavior like shifting sand… all over the place, spilling over, not solid, you never know what either will be? Is ‘fickle’ a good descriptive word? Actually, I probably should have started with the question as to whether being congruent was important to you?
Ideally, we speak and act from our foundation, our pillars, who we are. And this is reliable… we are reliable. Not unchangeable, and not box-able, but there is a logical basis on who we are and how we go about being us. I think the best word to describe this is ‘congruent’. Our words and behaviors do flow from our foundation.
According to Webster: “…the quality or state of agreeing, coinciding, or being congruent” (I realllllly hate it when they define a word by that word). Some of the synonyms are: accord, accordance, agreement, conformance, conformity, congruency, congruity, consonance, harmony, tune”. I’m not particularly enamored by ‘conformity’. But the underlying thought should be – understanding. Not assuming. Knowing yourself.
Too often we assume we are being understood or assume the definitions of the words used by the speaker (and listener) are the same as ours. Not necessarily. And the only way we truly know is when we begin to verify the connectiveness. Do we take the time… or just assume ‘one accord’ is in place? You do remember what happened the last time you just ‘assumed’?
Consistent. Does this describe you? And is your ‘consistent’ based in your beliefs? And… are your beliefs consistent and congruent?
“Therefore, my beloved brothers and sisters, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord [always doing your best and doing more than is needed], being continually aware that your labor … in the Lord is not futile nor wasted [it is never without purpose].”
(1 Corinthians 15:58, AMP)
Steadfast… immovable… aware are strong words. Undeniably, you can’t be any of those 2 qualities without being congruent. However, to me, ‘congruent’ is a guide. It helps me to determine, especially when I have learned something ‘new’, how and where and if it is relevant to what I do believe. And if not, how to reconcile the difference or to help determine its incorporation into my preexisting beliefs. I believe that everything we learn either confirms or challenges us about what and how we say we are and how we do us. Incongruent should not immediately be dismissed as irrelevant, but should is ‘scrutinized’. It may prove to be incompatible but at least we become aware of its existence.
