This particular post is a wee bit different from the typical post I make. I just had an experience that called into question what I believe and act on. Back to the title… Complaint? Excuse? What do You mean by ‘private’? It is a kind of wall we can stand behind… but do we know why we have this wall? Can we see through the wall but others can’t?
Many times I have heard ‘stoic’ people being defined as ‘private persons’. I really don’t think the 2 are necessarily related and definitely not the same. And yet… at the same time, a wonderful defense. But what I always find intriguing is… why the wall in the first place? Reasons: ‘I’ve been hurt. I’ve been misunderstood. I’ve been taken advantage of… I’ve been…’ Most of the time the reason/excuse is found in the past ‘been’. However, is there anyone who hasn’t been hurt, misunderstood, taken advantage of, etc.? I doubt it. Soooo… are you going to let the past control your now and future? Can’t you learn from past experiences and show greater wisdom in the future rather than ‘hiding in plain sight’? And speaking of wisdom – were we foolish in (fill in the blank) and realized too late that we had placed ourselves in an awkward position?
I suspect that last few sentences sounded a tad harsh. Not certain that was entirely unintended. We sometimes fail to look at our ‘why’ of what touches us. We protect. We ignore. We obfuscate. And a lot of other ‘We…’ And sometimes we do this without discovering if there’s even a need. Dealing with the now with past experiences tends always to be the default. We all do this consciously or not. Point being… not everything is meant to injury us. Sometimes it’s a learning we need or need to remember. We need to be able to distinguish learning from potential risks… and if risk -face them.
I’ve been accused of answering a question with a question. Sometimes that is deliberate on my part, sometimes I’m genuinely interested in what the other person means and am seeking clarity so that I respond to their question and not just my response. Being a private person does not mean not sharing what you really think and believe. And it is not responding in a manner that is only attempting to please the person asking the question/making a statement. And I suspect every private person has their own definition. I’m just suggesting that everyone who believes that’s who they are should reassess because there’s also the possibility that you are denying yourself a learning, of growing, of discovering, of exploring, of…
Never use your ‘private person’ as something to hide behind and do try and smile at those at the diametrically opposite end of this continuum. They exist too. For the same ‘reasons’?
