Ummmm… how did I get here? Perhaps more important… HOW do I get outta here!!!!! I feel like a whole lotta pruning is going on. Activities, responsibilities, leadership… and I could go on, but this seems to be the best definition of the ‘environment’ I’m experiencing. Accurate? Not sure. But I seem to be at odds and trying to contend for the ministry that I believe I should ‘fight’ for and yet… is this the Lord’s doing and so He’s moving me?
Have you ever found yourself (spiritually) in a place that really wasn’t all that bad, it just wasn’t ‘good’? And… you have no idea what you did/didn’t do that got you here! Because it is a here and now. I know I’m not supposed to be here but I don’t know much more. I really don’t think I’m the only one that has/is experiencing this ‘state’. More important is to be in the place I should be. Analyzing, while incredibly important, is secondary to moving on. However, not analyzing isn’t part of my makeup. I need to know the who, what, when, where, why. I know from scripture that the Father will NEVER leave or forsake us which, by definition, is that I must have done/not done something.?
We all know the scripture that talks about pruning (John 15:1-2)
“I am the true Vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that continues to bear fruit, He [repeatedly] prunes, so that it will bear more fruit [even richer and finer fruit].”
My mind immediately goes to – which of the 2? That which is thrown away or that which can bear more fruit? Personally, I’ve never found the pruning times comfortable. Then again… it probably isn’t meant to be. I’m beginning to think that these are the times that our faith, confidence, patience, among others, are being tested. That’s the positive spin. When it includes activities that you enjoy and feel called to – not the point. One question that always springs to mind is: is this pruning a elimination or a new perspective? Wish I could answer that.
It’s not that I’m ‘afraid’ of the unknown because if fear was/is the feeling – that isn’t from the Lord. Pruning is never meant to be (at least in my understanding) a time of fear. However, I’ve never really been delighted to be in this state. So where does all this leave us/me? Not sure… still discovering…
