I guess I shouldn’t be surprised but I’ve just discovered that I am terrible about compromising. It’s not that I view myself as infallible – I’ve been so very wrong so many times. I think it’s based in the fact that I am pretty much black or white. Rarely, if ever. both simultaneously. and not a swatch of gray either. Add to that I almost always see both sides to the issue. It can get complicated. Dichotomous together. Oxymoron anyone?
It really isn’t a ‘my way or the highway’ stance. I can and do change my thinking but I rarely try and blend or go the route of you give a little, I’ll give a little because that way no one ends up with anything except a bad taste in the mouth. Why am I seemingly intractable? I think it comes from my application of the scripture that tells us that our ‘yes’ should be yes and our ‘no’, no [Matthew 5:37]. ‘Maybe’ doesn’t even come to the discussion. Or at least I don’t tolerate it well. Is a ‘maybe’ legitimate? Yes – when you don’t have sufficient information to make a reasoned decision but the time of decision is also indicated when the ‘maybe’ is.
I do know that we seem to live in a culture that thrives, endorses, and expects compromise… as long as you accept their definitions and actions. I have yet to meet someone who is suggesting ‘compromise’ that really has any intention of compromising. Basically, it’s a strategy to get you to accept their way. Don’t like the subterfuge.
Is there a place for ‘you do your thing’, ‘I’ll do my thing’, and we’ll get together to compare notes at the end? Isn’t that a form of iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17)? And isn’t this a form of learning? Why do our disagreements need to end up as wars, as lost friendships – isn’t there a place for … come, let us reason together (Isaiah 1:18)? However, maybe this is a form of ‘you win, or you lose and I hate losing’? In our competitive society has our standing determined by how may wins and losses one has.?
Compromise seems to always end up in a place where one upmanship (an incredibly old concept) rules. My ability to get you to see my way or for you to cede the biggest loss is the focus and the goal and means to it are irrelevant.??? Then again… maybe I’m in one of my Don Quixote moods. Maybe I’m trying to inject a note of logic. Maybe I’m only talking to myself………….
