[I wrote, in 2015, on the fact that we are all wounded healers at least in some areas of our Christian walk, but this post is building on my initial post.]
Does ‘wounded healer’ describe you? Or are you only wounded? Do you feel a pain that goes so deep that it seems to be beyond even touching it, almost like it is impossible to reach the bottom? Do you hold that pain close to you, hoping you aren’t jarred? I remember when I first became a Christian (different from a christian) that I heard from others that Christians were the only ones that shot their wounded. Sadly, I discovered that in all too many cases this was true.
But why? Why do we do that to our brothers and sisters? Even in the world, when someone is injured or wounded in some way, many people attempt to help the individual get to a doctor in order to receive the needed help. So, why don’t we act this way toward others, especially fellow believers? Whenever the need for correction and regardless of the individual receiving the correction – anger, belittling, humiliating, and not restoring the erring brother to fellowship is never the proper action.
If we are the wounded then our feelings become heightened during these times. The reaction of brothers and sisters can make us feel rejected or worse, betrayed. While it never is helpful, we also tend to wallow a bit in our plight. I’m not certain that the intent is to gain further commiseration, I think it’s partly a method to understand what is happening and why. Why did we get wounded!?! And what is the source? The hope is in the form of another reality – we are all wounded healers.
Look to Jesus’ words:
“I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too are to love one another. By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you have love and unselfish concern for one another.” [John 13:34-35]
These scriptures are specific – being know by love is a wonderful ‘quality’ and it is a command (John 13:34 – the key to understanding this and other statements about love is to know that this love (the Greek word agape) is not so much a matter of emotion as it is of doing things for the benefit of another person, that is, having an unselfish concern for another and a willingness to seek the best for another.)
I know we are to love the brethren – Jesus’ words are that His disciples would be known by their love (John 13:35). And when/if they are in error we are to correct one another (2 Timothy 2:23-26, Galatians 6:1, Colossians 3:13, and Ephesians 4:2 – among others). This is a confirmation, NOT abrogation, of our responsibility to speak the truth, especially if error is involved. While speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) is the intent, it may not be perceived that way. Never an excuse.
I think the lesson(s) I’ve learned is that we all, in some way, may be wounded healers so I need to hear correction from others in this way. It also gives me clues about my ‘how’ of correcting error I see – gently, firmly, in love, and with scriptures that support the correction.
