When you can’t find happiness

Been there? I have … more than once and I do not like that place. Even worse – I don’t like me when I’m there. It’s a place in which I can’t find peace and worse – joy. It’s not depression, it’s not dissatisfaction but the depth is so deep that you can’t see the top of the ‘hole, pit’ you somehow are in. You really aren’t comfortable in your own skin. You are restless, distracted, wandering, and a few other negative emotions that don’t give hope.

Life seems to be a series of highs and lows or as I refer to them as – seasons of life. I seriously doubt anyone can sustain these two polar opposites for long periods of time. It’s the middle ground that needs to be cultivated because that’s where we spend the majority of our time. Part of my question is – do we recognize these times, seasons or is only on retrospect? Perhaps it’s as we enter these times that we suddenly realize that we’ve somehow wandered off our path.

A little hint – don’t go looking for happy… you rarely find ‘happy’ by looking for it. I think ‘happy’ is illusive, transitory, surface. I’ve been around some people who appear to be able to turn on a dime from ‘miserable’ to happy (and vice versa). Which leads me to think there isn’t much depth to ‘happy’. One secular source says:

“In the Bible, happiness (often translated from the Greek word “μακαρισμος” or “μακαριο”) is not just about fleeting emotions, but a deeper, more profound state of well-being and joy that comes from a relationship with God. It’s a contentment that is not dependent on circumstances, but rooted in faith and a sense of God’s favor.”

In other words, they are defining happiness by joy. And ‘joy’ is a much deeper state.
https://restorativecc.com/ provides a chart that compares happiness and joy.

     Happiness                                                                                                                          Joy

Based on circumstances Despite circumstances

Us focused Kingdom focused

In reaction to accomplishments, achievement, and From a place of gratitude, praise and confidence
material gain

Is a feeling (remember feelings are fleeting) State of being

Looking to earthly things Viewing from a heavenly perspective

Hope in “it” (it being the thing you think Full of hope
will bring you happiness)

When I first looked at the ‘definitions’ this company developed to explain the differences, I saw the main reason almost immediately. It really is based in who your source is. Happiness is more of a object based state while joy has it’s source in a Christian mindset of relationship with the Lord and His promises.

If you look for joy… you will find it One source explains joy as:

“The biblical definition of joy says that joy is a feeling of good pleasure and happiness that is dependent on who Jesus is rather than on who we are or what is happening around us. Joy comes from the Holy Spirit, abiding in God’s presence and from hope in His word.”

That certainly is more substantial and long lasting.

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Dr. Carolyn Coon

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