Let’s face it… we all mess up. Sometimes we even surprise ourselves by what we just said or did – or didn’t say/do. If you feel shocked, you aren’t alone. Then again… as long as we aren’t repeating a previous mistake, it isn’t as ‘bad’, yes? Okay… we do repeat messes. But often that repeat is the final time for that particular mess. Personally, I feel I am very creative at discovering and/or developing new messes. I may repeat one once, but rarely keep reinforcing it. I attempt to follow (attributed to Einstein) the saying that the definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior but expecting a different result.
Sometimes, at least for me, I am surprised and just a tad confused about what just happened. Things don’t always turn out the way you think they will. And if the surprise is associated with others (and what isn’t?) then ‘they’ rarely react according to the script in your head. The point really is… what am I going to do about it? And the first question has to be – is there anything I can do? Or do I need assistance? Or will I have to accept the situation as is?
I have also discovered that if I precipitously act then 9 times out of 10 I only make the situation worse. This often is the result if confusion is the feeling. While mistakes happen, exasperating them doesn’t need to follow in their wake. Obviously apologize, if not for what you did/didn’t do/say, then for how the other person feels. At this point that should be the focus, in my world. You really need the time to consider what precipitated your response, the response, and the reaction to your response. But it always shows consideration on your part when you acknowledge the other person’s feelings.
‘Correction’ becomes the final piece. Sometimes you really can’t do or say anything. Sometimes, whether or not the ‘blame’ is yours, you simply have to live with it. However, that initial acknowledgement of the other person’s feelings may be all that’s necessary. Justice can be a tricky thing since it appears that sometimes it’s in the eye of the beholder. Grace, on the other hand, is always available as a response. And Mercy toward all, yourself included, heals many a troubling situation.
