I really do hate being taken for granted! The ‘taken for granted’ state is nearly equal to assumptions on what I will or will not do and say – actually, who I am. Often a comment such as, “I know you…”, is made by someone who has absolutely NO idea of who I am. However, this is also a two-edged sword. What do we (I/you) take for grant about others? We all assume a great deal… and, I suspect, expect a great deal. We do this without thinking twice and we do and expect ‘it’. However, simply because ‘everyone does it’ is not a valid excuse. We need to consider that if we dislike being taken for granted then the person we ‘do’ this to probably doesn’t like it either.
Do you ever say anything to the person who is taking you for granted? Or have you ever been told that what you think/expect about another isn’t accurate? Probably not. Most people don’t correct others about a public (or private) pronouncement. And again, do you do this to others? In its simplest form this is presumptuous. In its flagrant form it is dismissive and demeaning. Even if you are right about your assumptions about another’s (fill in the blank) it is totally unnecessary to preemptively act on it. And if you are the one in the spotlight, what do you do? What options do you have?
Remedy? How does one function in a state that doesn’t presume and assume? How do we relate to others since everyone needs some sort of ‘order’ to their world. That’s the dilemma. Maybe it’s the ‘public’ nature of taking others for granted.? Does this hold them up to ridicule? Perhaps it’s when we, unintentionally or not, make these public assumptions visible to others that we limit the person we are doing this to? I think this is partially true. Personally, I really try and act toward family and friends as if I knew nothing about their likes, dislikes, etc., at least publicly, because if I have the right to change, to grow, to mature, to make mistakes, to stub my toe… then so do others. At least this is my mindset even when I fail to use it.
One of my favorite authors wrote, “…remember how easy it can be to walk in our own shoes when we don’t have to struggle to put them on.” It’s about our perspective rather than attempting to see things through other’s eyes. What is simple for us… is us, and that also includes those ‘things’ about our self we don’t like. In order to make our world make some sort of sense, we automatically apply our standards, our expectations, etc. and we also apply them to others. We rarely, if ever, walk in other’s shoes. This is another area that we have to be intentional about. The delightful surprise is that in the process of trying to not take others for granted, we can discover someone brand new… and also ourselves.
