How do you hear those two words… as a challenge? As a disbelief in (fill in the blank)? What are your feelings that emerge – anger? Shock and surprise that you, your word is questioned? Did you make your comment that invoked those 2 words unthinking and now you need to provide the basis or source of what you said? An off handed remark? A foundational principle? But along with your reaction to hearing those words, you now need to make a reasoned response.
No matter how those two words are said, they really are a challenge. Accept that. Perhaps the speaker really doesn’t accept whatever you said or maybe they hold a contrary view. Whatever their position, their comment needs a response. Most people will start by giving their interpretation of (fill in the blank) but my point would be… what needs proving? Is it you that’s being put to the test or what you said or the foundation on what you said rests? Starting by defending may not be the best approach, especially if you hope to influence their thinking and subsequent involvement.
I would recommend that you start by clarifying what it is they want proved. And the best way of doing that is to ask questions. If you defiantly respond and/or as a question you are likely not to get their true focus because now you’ve put them on the defensive. As much as possible try to give the impression that you are attempting to clarify but need more information from them as to what it is they don’t agree with. In fact, you can give them suggestions – in the form of a question – as to what may be the basis of their disagreement. Escalating the emotional tension is not the most profitable way of reaching agreement.
Finally you have to allow the other person their right to disagree and be able to acknowledge this so they know they are heard and valued. After that then seriously listen and ask questions where you need clarification. Who knows, they may have a ‘better mousetrap’ – keep an open mind. If, in the final analysis, your position has to be followed and accepted, then allowing the other person their opportunity to be heard may be the best way to help them to be involved.
‘Prove it!’ can be spoken in a variety of ways and heard in a variety of ways and no commonality between them. Rather than assuming, use the scriptural suggestion – ‘come let us reason together’.
