is a learned behavior. I’m not totally convinced that we spontaneously and unconditionally share. I also am not convinced that we all share the same definition of ‘share’. However, I do believe there is a predisposition with some people that they will share without expecting a ‘payback’. Unfortunately, too often if we share we expect some form of quid pro quo. And, when or if this doesn’t happen then our tendency to share becomes less spontaneous and less ‘free’. So… what’s your view of sharing? And do you expect a ‘return’ on your sharing from others? And if your answer to the last question is ‘yes’ then look at your motives to share. Yes, harsh.
First, do you enjoy sharing? Does it give you pleasure to share (fill in the blank) with others? Do you feel coerced to share – that you would prefer not to? Or maybe you feel that you don’t have a choice of what you share, with whom, and when? These latter three components are critical to a sharing behavior. Example: too often children are ‘forced’ to share (their toys) with others and this will be played out in their adulthood attitude. Though the intent is positive, it is often presented with no understanding. This is my primary reason why I believe sharing has to be taught. But I would also contend we need to know our definition of the word and not assume everyone believes the same.
When you, the adult, take the time to teach a child all of the whats and whyfores of sharing then this foundation will also translate into their adult years. But what IS the purpose of sharing? How do you portray this to others? Is it apparent in your adulthood? It rarely is the obvious components of sharing such as work related accomplishment of goals and objectives that are necessary, sharing is part of the accomplishment of tasks. Simultaneously, it is the personal parts of who you are that typically are privately held. Most people only share these elements with those who have earned their trust.
If you are the type of person who thoroughly enjoys sharing then you are a rare person! At least the people I’ve observed or am familiar with seem more reserved. Whichever the end (or middle) of the continuum you find yourself on, the point is to not feel guilty about what you share of you and with whom. Sharing has to be a choice. My only caveat is don’t let your experience totally dictate. Sharing our own personal dreams and hopes can be very liberating as long as we don’t always expect others to share those dreams and hopes, or aid in our attainment.
sharing? or …
