Are you a forgiver? When someone ask for forgiveness, are you quick to grant it? And then??? To forgive means to wipe the slate clean, do you do that for the other person, do you give them a new start? Or do you, subtly or overtly, punish them for their grievous behavior? Do you not let them move on? But… you do realize, that you’re not allowing yourself to move on in the process – yes? What kind of forgiver are you?
Actually the mindset you need is to remember what you want when you seek forgiveness. Do you want a new start? Or do you think you should be punished? Do you want mercy and grace or …? In case you’ve forgotten, punishment hurts. And, I suspect the important question is – what gives you the right to exact punishment? Granted, if they have betrayed a trust you don’t have to forget nor place yourself in the position to be hurt again but you do need to forgive and move on.
Forgiveness isn’t so much an issue of knowing what you should do – let’s face it, we all know. It’s in the doing. I must admit that there are moments and people I really don’t want to forgive. A hurt so deep, a betrayal so odious, whatever the reason but I don’t want to forgive. I know what should be done but I drag my feet until I remind myself of the scripture that talks about God being unable to forgive us if we don’t forgive others. Scripture is very clear, Matthew 6:15 is unequivocal.
The more we delay forgiving someone the more we keep our own blessing at bay. To me this is compounding the situation. We also have no right to act passive aggressive against the offender. Forgiveness must be open handed, even when the other person isn’t aware or doesn’t believe they need forgiveness. Sometimes it takes all of our strength to walk in forgiveness… but there really is no other alternative.
…but, what do you think? what do you believe?
