Does that sound as lame as it looks? Probably. But, like me, do you ever feel that way? Come on… be honest, you do. And the not wanting to has absolutely nothing to do with the ‘activity’ or the people involved… it simply is that there are moments that whatever it is with whomever they are – you just don’t wanna! And whether or not you have a ‘good’ excuse to not be involved has nothing to do with the feeling. So what do you do in those times?
Some of the time I allow myself the luxury of declining – as graciously as I can. And then one of two things occurs. One: I feel guilty because my ‘excuse’, though true, sounds so very trivial that it becomes one of those I know that you know that I know I’m only giving an excuse and I really could have
been involved. The result is that the now ‘free’ time is totally tainted and impossible to enjoy. The other thing that can happen is: I find, later, that the activity really was terrific and I missed out on something very worthwhile. The result of this is a kind of flat taste in the mouth about what I did do instead.
Most of the time I ‘suck it up’ and do whatever it is. And many of the times I’m eventually glad that I did because I would have missed something quite… lovely. The few times that the activity is a dud doesn’t compare to the times of positive experiences. For me to enjoy this though does require a change in me. I find that in the midst of whatever I allowed myself to succumb to is when the attitude changed.
‘I don’t wanna!!!’ does need to be expressed and acknowledged or it will impact whatever decision you make. However, you don’t have to punish others in the process. Being a martyr won’t work either because this behavior always seeps out. What I typically try to do is to take some time with myself and pity party it and then move on. 5 minutes usually works. But then I try and enter in to whatever decision I make and not get into the ‘what if’.
…but, what do you think? what do you believe?
