Actually I’m referring, in this case, to the expression of emotions – non verbally. For example: happy, unhappy – which do you walk with? Does your countenance display hopelessness, sorrow or some other form of unhappiness or are you happy? With feelings, we choose what we express. I realize that it may be splitting hairs but, happiness and unhappiness express a mindset and joy and despair express a state of being. The difference is that a mindset is our choice at the moment and a state of being speaks to who we are.
One person I knew contended that they had no intention of being other than how they felt so if they were unhappy and displayed that emotion then it was the other person’s problem if they didn’t like it. Yeeesss… but, you don’t have to make it a ‘point of honor’ to present a negative picture. A problem may be that the expression at a moment in time may not speak to who we typically are, but because of our expression we may be ‘type cast’. But perhaps we’re getting into the arena of choice when two divergent approaches collide.
On the ‘pro’ side that you should express what you are feeling is that you won’t give off mixed messages. Others won’t wonder why you seem to be saying one thing but look the opposite. Congruency is really all that it appears to be and this aids in understanding. On the ‘con’ side is the sense that you are dumping on others (which may be true). If the other person isn’t directly involved in the situation that you are reacting to, then do they need to know?
Since I tend to be the silver lining type, I would prefer honesty and transparency… but that it be couched in sensitivity to others. Not denying self and one’s current feelings but also not being so obvious that you invite comments that you may not want to deal with. You will express yourself… your decision is how you will present yourself. Not being true doesn’t work… being overly obvious won’t either.
