How do you define this word? Does equal mean precisely the same? Does ‘equal’ apply to everything? The answers to the last two questions is… no. I suspect that part of our approach to equal starts in childhood when it appears that another person may have gotten favor over/instead of us. Equal really is such a personal issue and typically emerges when we feel we have been deprived… and it isn’t fair. ‘Equal’, ‘right’ and ‘fair’, many times are used in the same sentence.
Rarely does anyone think about what transpired before the purported inequality appears. Did the other person earn their reward? Let’s be honest… most of our irritation is based in someone else getting a reward and we didn’t. However, let’s consider the reverse scenario – suppose you were the one receiving a reward and then another person did too except they didn’t do the work to earn it… how would you feel? Does ‘equal’ only apply to you?
My contention is that we all desire recognition even if we haven’t totally accomplished the final result. There’s nothing wrong with that feeling. recognition lets us experience support as we work toward accomplishing our goal/responsibility/etc. As a society we are quick to criticize and this can be demoralizing, thus the need for approval intensifies.
‘Equal’ and ‘fair’ do exist, especially if you reverse the order of the two words. When you focus on whether or not it’s right and proper for you to receive accolades, your perspective does change. Plus, how often do you offer support to someone? If you are know as an ‘encourager’ then you too will be encouraged. I’m not completely convinced that we really are search for equal as much as we are searching for support as we continue the process.
