Does this describe you…or, do you pull your punches? Which behavior is yours? … and, do you know why? It is important to know how you act and react, but it’s equally important to know your why, your motivation. For example – I try very hard to never lie or dilute the truth (as I see and understand it). The reason is extremely basic – I don’t have to remember what I said to person A when talking with person B. What I say is what I’ve said. Very simple. And when there is a change I always try to ‘update’ those I’ve made the initial assessment/statement.
However, do you take a ‘relativistic’ approach? That it depends on the person, situation, results that determines your reaction. Shouldn’t be. And yes, this does sound like I’m advocating a black/white reaction when we live in a gray world. I keep going back to the scripture that says our ‘yes’ should be yes and our ‘no’ no (Matthew 5:37). No equivocation. But what about change? Is this an ‘in cement’ approach to life and people? Don’t circumstances determine?
Perhaps a softening would be appropriate… bottom line though is that you need to know and be ‘comfortable’ with how you approach truth, telling it like you understand (it), etc. We are told in scripture to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). That isn’t always easy. Sometimes, though, it is a case of how we speak truth rather than not speaking a truth that is hard/difficult. But it never is an easy situation of speaking truth v. lying. I do believe that ‘how’ is the mitigating issue not the question ‘if’ we speak truth.
If you would want to know what is seen by someone else rather than possibly being run over by a freight train, then this will answer your wondering about offering unsolicited feedback. If you take a, ‘it’s not my business’ then you never face the uncomfortable situation and decision. As you can see, there are many considerations that determine ‘telling it like it is’. Obviously you need to know your personal standard. Sometimes this will result in being misunderstood or seen as a meddler. If your motives are clean then stand by what you think. Remember that when you do speak to provide the qualification – this is what I think, know, believe. The other person will act or not according to their beliefs.
