Do you mean it? Are You sorry? Do you drop the ‘I’ and toss out just the one word…sorry? Exactly what are sorry about? That you got ‘caught’? That you were wrong? That the other person(s) misunderstood? That someone’s feelings were hurt? That the ramifications from your words or actions caused harm? What? A different question is – do apologies spring quickly to your lips? Do you find yourself apologizing even when the problem/issue isn’t of your making? Do you know why you are apologizing? Is it merely to placate (whomever) and attempt to move on? Or?????
Saying you’re sorry isn’t enough. Feeling sorry isn’t enough. Both are a beginning, but it isn’t enough. Actually the only true test, the only way to see and know that you (or the other person) truly are sorry is changed lives. If you truly are sorry then you have an obligation to change – it’s not a suggestion or an option. But if it is only words, then why bother speaking them? Divert attention? Bottom line is… How do you view apologizing and Why do you do it? Is your attention to ‘own up’ to your responsibility? Do you plan on changing your thinking and behavior?
Webster defines apology as: “a statement saying that you are sorry about something: an expression of regret for having done or said something wrong.” Yes? And… Remember that you may not have done something ‘wrong’! Again, in my world, expressions of apology need clarifying – it isn’t a blanket. Examples: “I’m sorry you feel…”, “I regret that my (words/actions) were interpreted…”, etc. There’s a context for the apology so both you and the other person understand the point of the apology. Splitting hairs? No. Because in some instances, you may not plan on changing your thinking or behavior, but you are sorry the other person doesn’t understand why you believe as you do.
Personally, I think apologizing can be far too unthinking and mindless… merely words spoken to ease the situation. I really don’t have problems apologizing, just context-lessly. I want others who are affected by what I did or said to know precisely what I am apologizing for and why. There is less room for misunderstanding in the future, especially when the thinking and acting won’t be changed. If your reaction to this discussion is – who cares? Then I’m sorry your sensitivity to take the responsibility for the reactions to what you do or say is cavalier… at least in my world of interactions, this would be my interpretation.
