Recently I read:
“A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and
were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots are
withered. Carve you name on hearts and not on marble.”
That statement by Charles H. Spurgeon puts a period on what should be our concern about who we are and how we impact other lives. I think many of us focus on what can be seen to verify who we are rather than considering the intangibles that provide the foundation to the ‘visibles’. In the final analysis, it truly is the intangibles that linger, that cause others to remember. These are the essential definitions of our character.
Regardless of ‘good’ or ‘bad’, our character is visible and it marks how others view us. If you were invisible and those you trusted were talking about you, would you be pleased with their opinions of how they ‘saw’ you? Those closest to us tend to be on either end of the continuum – highly critical or highly complementary about how they view us. Rarely are they in the middle, besides, who wants wishy-washy ‘close’ friends? The point is, are you really visible… in your own eyes? Would others’ characterization of who they thought you are coincide with yours?
I wonder how much attention we give to our character? Do we give much thought to our words and actions that define who we are? I suspect our awareness of this runs on a continuum of not at all to very little. Harsh? Probably. Sometimes I wonder if we would do/say what we do if we thought first and then acted/spoke? Important? It depends on how important your character is to you.
Character is no little thing. It speaks to who we are and how we go about being us. It informs all who ‘see’ of the things, ideas, people, etc. that are important to us. Our behavior is based in our foundation of character and will ultimately define and describe us. In stone? No. But only if we want to ‘improve’ will this be in evidence. What’s important to us always is the counterpoint to what we are willing to do to become our better self. What will be on your tombstone? More important – do you really care?
