So tell me… get you anywhere? Get good results (for you) from complaining? I would suspect that even if we never received positive results from complaining that this wouldn’t stop us. Everybody complains… about something, to someone, at some time. Talk about a ‘given’! (Ever so slightly tongue-in-cheek.) But the reason we complain… simply self-serving?
Just to make certain we all have the same definition, Webster says: “to say or write that you are unhappy, sick, uncomfortable, etc., or that you do not like something; to say (something that expresses annoyance or unhappiness.” One can easily infer from that definition that ‘complain’ is NOT quiet! It is said – out loud. And it most often is expressed in a voice of unhappiness and/or distress and perhaps a tad whiny. I suspect I could also add that it is typically expressed to whomever will listen whether or not they are directly or indirectly effected, affected, interested, and can do anything to change ‘it’.
Why am I even writing about this? To ask you to look at your own behavior (a ‘if I have been led to do this, then you should too’ pout?) and to ask you to look at how often this marks your communication. Seriously, how often is our conversation marked by some complaint, legitimate or not? And is this the (only) reason we do so – to receive some commiseration? Perhaps. Sometimes it’s the mere ability to voice our displeasure that eases the feeling. Not so much that we expect the listener to ‘do’ something as much as to just listen. I might also suggest that I somehow think that complaining’s mate is worry. And what a combination those two are! Worry is distinctly, by definition, something we have absolutely no control over that situation. If we could do something then we would and wouldn’t have to worry. Yes?
My point in this discussion is that we really should realize why we are complaining. There really may be a legitimate reason. But… what’s our purpose and goal? If it’s only ‘to say out loud’ then we really need to change the content of our communication. It might be a good idea to see if there is a different mode to let the proper people know why we are complaining and also to phrase our complaints in a way that those who do have an ability to effect a change can hear what we’re saying. Just a thought…
