Expectation is really a two-edged sword. Expectations, from yourself, from others can be extremely debilitating because they are beyond your ability to accomplish. And they can be motivating, giving a sense of accomplishment.
The one critical component in expectations is the knowledge that they are even there. That may sound strange but it isn’t. Often there are those unspoken expectations, basically from others. And when we don’t fulfill them we reap the results from others without really knowing why. However, we also have unspoken expectations – for others, for ourselves.
It is the unspoken expectations that prove to be frustrating. How can you fulfill something you don’t even know? If you do – it’s by ‘chance’, and if you don’t- you disappoint. In either case you really have little control, influence in this situation. While it is impossible to control other people’s unspoken expectations, you can control your own. This requires you taking a hard analysis of what happened that indicated you didn’t fulfill what you should have. Was your expectation of yourself even realistic?
Unspoken expectations are rarely motivational for the simple fact that any knowledge occurs after the fact rather than before – thus not the basis for action. What needs to occur in these situations is to confront them. If it comes from someone else you need to show them that lack of knowledge is no basis for judgment. If it comes from yourself – you need to do precisely the same thing.
