For me, it’s all about the ‘because’. The because is the why, the reason for the response/reaction to what you’ve just said, did, want to do. Without the because there’s no real understanding. I suspect I can blame my parents for this predilection – they always included the reason when disallowing something. And they always made certain that I understood why – not simply acceded to their wishes.
I ‘always’ try and remember that training and provide a ‘because’ when I say ‘no’ to something. Because can also sound like, ‘because…???’ when I use it to understand the motivation of the person making the request/statement. Because really does have a variety of uses dependent upon the inflection when speaking the word. However, in the midst of all this, the word is not the reason. The ‘because I said so’ has no attendant understanding.
But I’m really using the word in this context as explaining – why. Why’s explanations give us understanding and learning. I’ve discovered that the more certain the person is of why they are saying ‘no’ the more willing they are to give their reasons. I’ve simultaneously discovered that those who really have no logical reason and/or simply want to exert their dominance typically respond to my ‘why?’ with anger.
‘Because’ always forces us to be aware of why we are doing what we are doing. Our response to because makes us consider options and alternatives prior to acting. Simply… because can be a check for us to be positive we have done sufficient planning. Another person asking questions can be part of our checklist – not necessarily a challenge to our why.
