Like most people you probably grew up with do’s and don’t’s. But, which was the most predominant – the do’s or the don’t’s? And what did the don’t’s relate to – physical safety or intellectual? And what did the do’s relate to – tasks or discoveries? Do’s and Don’t’s speak to other’s attempts to either enable or control? And I do realize that is a somewhat simplistic definition. However, the impact of how we are introduced to them and how we are allowed to react with them has lifetime ramifications.
Do’s can be as controlling and limiting as Don’t’s. Think about yours – how did you interact with those two words? One of the biggest determinants in your reaction is whether or not there was any form of explanation provided with the words. Did you know what you should or shouldn’t do something? Were explanations of why given? And, equally important, did this make sense to you?
How you learned about do’s and don’t’s will undoubtedly get translated in how you present them to others. Did you learn based in fear? dire punishment? or painful injury? Or were the ramifications from what your actions would produce taught? I do enjoy the ‘…come let us reason together…’ approach to teaching and learning, and it can be used regardless of age. The lessons stay longer with this approach – at least that’s my bias but it also indicates how I was taught.
Do’s and Don’t’s provide parameters – at least they can. But I don’t think they should be walls. If they are then someone will always try and scale it. If you don’t do a ‘do’ or if you do do a ‘don’t’ you discover what will be the result plus if you do a do and don’t do a don’t, you also see the results. But fear should never be the impetus to the learning. A healthy dose of logic will typically suffice. I would argue that the greatest learnings occur when you do a don’t or don’t do a do and someone sits down with you to help you understand.
…but, what do you think? what do you believe?
